FAQ: Me

I thought now might be an ideal time to begin leaking personal information about myself to the press, in preparation for the announcement about my presidential exploratory committee. So please enjoy the following FAQ (Fictitiously Asked Questions):

Q:
So how does a guy with two music degrees end up being an Operating Systems Analyst?
A:
The first section (about 50 measures or so) goes along about like everybody expects it to. Suddenly, there's a caesura, followed by a frantic 10-measure transitional section marked by discord and tremolo. This section is marked in the score as "lifelong hobby becomes new job." The transition ends rather painlessly, but leads to an entirely new key. Another 50 measures later, dramatic music signals the beginning of another (however much more gradual) transition. This work is as yet unfinished.

Q:
Huh?
A:
Always loved music, theater, and computers/technology. Went to school with majors in Music Education and Theater. Dropped theater a couple of years in, because I had to graduate eventually. Married my sweetie. Graduated a semester later with a Bachelors of Music Education. Substitute taught for the rest of the school year in the Sioux Falls, SD public schools. Got a graduate assistantship and went back to school for another year and a summer. Graduated with a Masters in voice performance.

Moved to Jewell, IA to teach middle school and high school vocal music there. After three years there, moved to Des Moines to take a great high-school vocal job at Lincoln High School. After that year, realized that teaching music was not my vocation. The following occurred to me: "Hey, I love computers, too. I bet I could make some money doing that!" Studied to earn some certifications, took a Temp IT Flunkie job for a few months until I found my job at the company where I still work.

Great job. Learned a lot, had a great time, got good. During the past (almost) 5 years, still a great job, continued learning a lot, having a great time, getting good. About 4 years in, my life experiences all ganged up on me to help me realize what I want to do with my life. Soon thereafter, began school full time again to get prerequisites for med school. More about that in another FAQ.

Q:
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck...
A:
Five.


Q:
Five what?
A:
Yes.


Q:
What is the meaning of life?
A:
Flossing. Some may point out the Douglas Adams contention that "The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything" is 42. Some would do well to remember that The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is fiction, whereas my answer is a lie.


Q:
You actually thought people might be amused by this article?
A:
Look. This is hard work. I'll admit that mistakes have been made. The article I started is not the article we're in now. But we can't just desert these paragraphs. It will simply embolden the unfunny content. The unfunny content doesn't believe we have the stomach to continue. We must stay the course follow this new way forward. I understand that some may be skeptical of my decision to deploy more words into this article. Naysayers are naysaying that it's already a lost cause. I don't believe that. I believe that with more strategically-placed unfunny words, we can have continuing victory in this article. But it's not an open-ended commitment. We're doing our part. This article has to start making itself funny while my words hold its place. Although I won't place an arbitrary, artificial time line for this to occur, which I'm sure will increase the pressure the article is feeling to get real funny in a hurry. To help this funniness emerge, we will take bold...
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